So Jason and I made a weekend trip to Joliet, IL this past weekend (you can hear about our trip report on next week’s episode) to meet one-half of the 360 Vegas podcast gang. While we were there, I finally really noticed the number of things that casino inhabitants do which annoy the hell out of me. I made a list, in no particular order…
- People Who Rush Up On Me. These are the people that are walking on your heels. You might be making your way through the casino, searching for the next slot, table game or video poker machine to make you a millionaire. But while you’re looking for that magical machine, you’ve got the Road Runner damned near knocking you down. I actually had one woman walking so close behind me, that I finally stepped out of the way to let her pass me by. She was following me everywhere and I actually yelled at her…in a passive aggressive manner, of course!
- People Who Move A Chair. Now, I don’t actually mind when someone moves a chair to a slot or video poker machine to sit and play. What annoys the piss out of me is when people pull up an extra chair to sit with someone at a machine. I couldn’t believe the number of the people who were doubled up at one machine (be it a slot or video poker) playing it together. These machines are NOT a group activity! The beauty of video poker and slot playing is that it’s a somewhat solace endeavor. When you move a chair from one machine to play with other person, you’re causing someone who might want to play at that chairless machine to stand, or in the alternative, move another chair. I wish that casino personnel would make people put the chair back and ask the second player to stand behind the sitting player.
- People Who Sit And Observe Someone Else. This is just as bad as taking a chair from another slot machine. The person who plops down next to someone at a slot (or video poker) machine, but doesn’t actually play it. There were a number of times this trip I saw a fun looking machine, initially thought to myself that it was currently being played, but upon closer inspection realized the person was a ploppy! If you’re going to sit down at a machine, you’d better play it! Especially if it’s crowded! Jason and I were visiting a casino A) on the weekend [naturally a busy time], B) in a Chicago suburb and C) during times like 5- 10 pm. If you’re going to watch someone play a slot machine, respectfully stand directly behind their chair, please.
- People Who Have No Sense Of Awareness. OH MY GOD, THESE PEOPLE ARE THE WORST!!! Have you ever tried to walk through a casino, only to have people walk right in front of you, stop walking right in front of you, or otherwise act like they are the only person in the casino? One time I had to stop walking or else I would have plowed straight into one particular woman because she cut me off. Other old hag stopped right in front of me because she wanted to gaze about the casino floor. I’m getting to the point where I’m going to start walking into people just to teach them a lesson.
- Human Cholesterol. How about this scenario: You’re trying to walk through the casino and you have to bob and weave through people because they’re clogging the walkways like a piece of human cholesterol! I can’t get to where I want to be, because you’re just standing their blocking the walkway. I attribute this to the previous type of person. If I wanted to gaze about the casino floor or stop right where I was to do something, I first do a quick glance all the way around me, see whom I might be blocking or otherwise annoying and I step away from the major traffic area to let people around me get through. I think there is nothing more inconsiderate than when I have to take an alternate route because you’re just blocking the thoroughfare.
- People Who Beat Up The Machine. This I see more often with slot players than I do video poker players. These are the people who are slapping the “spin” button like they’re vigorously masturbating. They’re either repeatedly hitting the spin button, even when it’s not the time to do so and won’t cause the machine to re-bet any faster, or they’re the people who think that smacking the button will satisfy the machine’s BDSM fetish. I’m willing to let go the rubbing of the slot or video poker machine’s front glass as good luck, but I’m not willing to sit and hear the button be hit over and over again. Usually a few snide glances over at the person helps them get the picture.
- People Who Complain About Other’s Good Luck. So I sit down at a Grease slot machine. I remember the movie from my youth and thought it might be fun to see what the T-Birds and Pink Ladies wanted to give me in a bonus round, so I sat down. I put my money in, hit the bet button and won something trivial like $1. The guy next to me said to his wife (who had the good etiquette of standing behind him) something about “Of course the minute he sits down he hits something, he’ll probably hit the jackpot”. To which she responded, “Yeah, that’s why I don’t usually hang around a machine I just got up from” or some other such drivel. I was really REALLY close to saying something sarcastic to them both, but I refrained…I knew I’d bad mouth them in a blog post!
Most people are respectful when they’re at the casino and don’t engage in any of the above listed behaviors. However, for those that do, I might start giving them a Vice Lounge Online business card with the link to this post written on it and just invite them to check it out once they get home! I see it as a good way to endear myself to new, potential fans!
What say you? What annoys you about people in the casino?